


confession

by jointrose



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gen, One Shot, Other, Romance, Seventeen - Freeform, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, carat, kpop, romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24103336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jointrose/pseuds/jointrose
Summary: you were invited to a gathering of friends, where unexpected things happened.
Relationships: Hoshi x Reader, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	confession

**Author's Note:**

> there's going to be about extra 7 people in this scenario. I'm going to be naming them in simple, short words(?), since I can't exactly write 'F/N' for each of them: Dim (female), Char (female), Tat (female), Gar (male), Roe (female), Sol (female) and Qin (male). I thought it would be better to clarify how many people are present, but I hope it doesn't get confusing. Anyhoo, enjoy!

"Hey," you greeted cheerily through the phone. "Anything going on tonight?"

"Yeah," your friend, Roe, replied. "There's a gathering tonight..."

"You mean a party."

"Call it whatever you want."

You hummed in suspicion. "Who's throwing this – uh, gathering?"

"Cheol," you could hear the grin in her voice. "You know what that means."

_Gar._

"Yeah..." you replied, sounding almost disappointed but not entirely showing it. You knew that you weren't looking forward to seeing Gar — you were looking forward to seeing someone else, but you didn't want to ask.

Gar was the one that everyone had liked. Even if one didn't like him, they still liked him. It had become a normal occurrence within circles of friends to bring him up and gush over him and his skills; how he was almost every girl's 'dream boy' or 'ideal type'. You had often joined in the conversations as well...but only for the fun of it.

Admittedly, a part of you did enjoy his company and liked the way he spoke, but a larger part of you enjoyed someone else's presence, and no one knew about it except your other friend, Dim.

"Who else is coming?" you asked.

"Does it matter?" she responded loudly, beginning to giggle. "If Gar's there, then we don't need anybody else."

"Roe," rolling your eyes, you sighed. "C'mon, tell me who else will be there."

She began to sound irritated, but her tone had immediately shifted back to its enthusiastic state. "The usual people, no? Like, who else is always with Cheol?" she paused, as though waiting for you to answer the question. "Joshua, Gar, and Qin."

"Really?" your voice went high. "What about the girls?"

_No...that's not what I wanted to ask. What about Soonyoung? Will Soonyoung be there?_

"Yeah I think that we should get more girls, and I'm sure Gar will get girls, too. Ah..." she exhaled deeply. "Girls are always flocking around him."

"All right." You blinked, trying to find a way to ask her the question you originally wanted to without being obvious. "Are you sure that those are the only guys coming?"

"No...I mean, like, they might invite more people, and Cheol himself might invite more people that we don't know."

_She wasn't going to know who I was asking about unless I say it,_ you thought anxiously, biting the insides of your mouth. _Whatever, screw it._

_I mean, screw it – but still; be subtle about it._

"Oh yeah, there's that one guy that's usually around Seungcheol..." you mumbled, loud enough for her to hear you properly. "Y'know, kinda tall, kinda pale, with black hair and big cheeks; what's his name again...? Sooyoung...? Suhyoung? Something...young...?"

Roe started to giggle on the other end.

"I just remember his name having a 'young' in it," you laughed along, hoping that she had gotten the hint as you grew somewhat impatient.

"Ah, you mean Soonyoung?"

_UH, YEAH!_

"I dunno if he'll be coming," she said. "But like, he might, if he's close to Cheol like Gar or Joshua. Like if Cheol invited him. Do you want me to ask?"

"No, no, it's fine," you tried to think up an excuse. "Just wanted to know since I borrowed something from him last time I saw him."

It wasn't entirely a lie – after all, you and Soonyoung were indeed, friends, and you had borrowed something from him. In fact, you could've simply asked him if he were going to Seungcheol's house instead of asking Roe, but, for some reason, you were afraid to.

"O...K," she sounded a bit suspicious. "So can you pick me up when you're ready? I'm too lazy to take public transport."

You laughed, sighing out of relief. "Yeah, sure; I'll get dressed and come to you, but I gotta pick up the rest of the girls too."

"Oh, are they coming too?" Roe asked.

"I'll call them up and see. Either way, you have time to get ready, so don't worry about it."

"OK, I'll see you in a bit." She continued. "Call me when you're downstairs so I won't have to wait in the lobby."

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry, I will. See you."

As you hung up, you had noticed that your palms were sweaty and your heart was beating rather swiftly. Knowing that Soonyoung might be there had your nerves all tied up; you wanted to look good, but you knew better than to overdress. After all, it was another one of Seungcheol's house 'gatherings' – no one ever dresses up for it, really.

"Ey-yo!" Seungcheol greeted with arms wide open and a huge grin once he had unlocked the door. "You finally made it, Y/N! I haven't seen you in two whole weeks!" he stepped aside so that Char, Roe and yourself, could enter. "Hey, Roe, Char; good to see you again."

"I know, right?" you agreed to his first statement, removing your shoes once you had gotten in. "Work literally takes up all my time."

"You should try changing the timing of your shifts," he smiled, shutting the door before walking to your side. "Then maybe we could see each other more often."

"Yeah, sure; with my boss, even going to the bathroom is a risky thing to do."

He chuckled, seeming like he was in a rush. "Ok, so, you guys can make yourselves at home. There are some snacks on the table over there,"— he pointed towards a coffee table in the small space of a living room, where Gar and Qin were already seated, staring at the TV that all the furniture was pointed towards—"And a PlayStation. In there,"— he pointed to a closed room —"a PC and more consoles that the others brought if you guys wanna play. I highly recommend the VR."

"Why? Where are you going?" Char spoke up.

"Ah, we're just preparing some food," he headed towards the kitchen in small steps, still turning to look at you from time to time. "I think one more girl is joining us later on; the others are in the room using the PC."

"We'll come help," you mumbled, seeing how stressed he appeared. "C'mon Roe—"

"No, it's fine, I'll stay here," said Roe, looking at Gar from the corner of her eye as she gave you a sly smile. "I wanna watch them play."

"Sure, no problem," Seungcheol shrugged. "So, Y/N, Char, follow me."

"You do know that we've been here before, right?" you teased as you and Char hurried behind him.

"Sorry, I'm just all over the place tonight."

Once you went into the kitchen, you realized that Seungcheol failed to mention that every other male guest had arrived as well.

"He-ey, Char, Y/N," Vernon exclaimed loudly, followed by a welcome from Chan, who was beside him. They were the first to notice you two, while the others were slow to respond. You and Char returned the greeting, beaming.

"Hey," Joshua smiled from the far end of the kitchen, looking up from what he was working on. "Long time no see."

After replying to Joshua, you looked to the right where you knew Soonyoung was waiting; you had immediately seen him as soon as you entered.

"Am I a wall here?" he questioned with a half-smile once your eyes met. "Did I suddenly become invisible?"

"Ha-ha," you mocked, feeling your cheeks warm up as you couldn't think of a witty comeback. "Nice to see you too, Soonyoung."

Char waved at him a hello and he returned the greeting before he looked at you again. Vaguely listening, you noticed that the kitchen was filled with the sound of small talk; however, you and Soonyoung were only beginning yours.

"That's it?" he continued, leaning towards you. "No 'I miss you' or, 'long time no see' or, 'you look great!'?" he smeared his flour-covered finger on your cheek.

"Because I _don't_ miss you,"—you lied, wiping where his finger dragged—"it hasn't been that long,"—it had been about 2 weeks; you know because you had kept count—"And you look... _okay,_ I suppose." Probably the biggest lie you had told him so far.

"Really? Your facial expression tells me something else." He smirked, wriggling a brow.

You rolled your eyes, preventing your lips from stretching further. "Believe whatever you want, Soonyoung."

He chuckled and shrugged. "Want to help me with the cupcakes then?"

With a quick nod, you strode to his side.

━☆☆━

You, Char, Sol, and Roe were seated on the couch while ahead of you and across the coffee table, on beanbags, sat Gar, Qin, Chan, and Joshua. Seungcheol had gone to the PC room, where another PS was stationed, and Vernon had gone to join him along with another close friend of yours, Dim.

The final girl had arrived while everyone was chowing down on the food that you, Char and the other boys prepared. Her name was Tat and she greeted Soonyoung in a very familiar way; then again, she did the same with Cheol, but that didn't bother you as much. You knew her when you were younger since you two had gone to the same classes as kids, but as life went on, you had both drifted apart.

All you knew about her now, was...well, nothing. She had changed a lot, however, in a way you wouldn't have ever expected her to.

Soonyoung wasn't seated with you and the rest; he settled along the chairs that lined the walls of Seungcheol's house, chatting away on his phone. You glanced at him from time to time, in hopes that your eyes would meet, but he was so invested in his phone that he didn't look up; not even once.

Therefore, you tried to focus on the ones in front of you. Everyone was talking about food, fine dining, and restaurants; probably comparing the food that was prepared tonight to those dishes.

You weren't quite sure.

Gar had repeatedly made eye-contact with you and winked from time to time. Although you did like him to an extent, you couldn't keep your mind off of Soonyoung.

_Wait,_ you thought. _Is Gar flirting with me? Is this his way of letting me know that he's interested in me?_

"Would you share your food, though?" Roe had asked Gar, and your thoughts traveled back to the conversation at hand.

"Of course I would," he said, rather smugly, adjusting himself on the beanbag. "She's my girlfriend, after all. Why wouldn't I share my food with her?"

Char, seated on your left, moved forward with a huge smile, not bothering to hide her admiration for him. "What if it was your favorite food _and_ the last dish of your favorite food to _ever_ exist? Would you still share it?"

"Yes," he looked at you again, and you smiled – out of courtesy. "I would even give her the whole plate."

The girls at your sides laughed and Roe whispered to you, "I really want to be his girlfriend."

For a reason you couldn't comprehend, her words bothered you. Sol and Char had heard Roe and began comforting you, as though the way you had felt inside reflected on the outside. They began to "aww" and pat you on the back, saying, "That's a shame," as though you had a monstrous crush on him and Roe had taken him away.

_This won't do,_ you thought to yourself, standing up slowly. You glanced to where Soonyoung was sitting down earlier, not finding him there. "I'll be back."

You headed straight to the kitchen, not finding him in there either. Before you could leave, however, Gar had entered with his intentions clearly written on his face.

"Hey," you greeted, immediately shifting the attention to someone else. "Have you seen Soonyoung?"

"No, I, uh..." he chuckled slightly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I actually came here to talk to you."

You smiled again. "What is it?"

"I don't really know how to say this, but..."

"Sorry, Gar," you interrupted, not entirely sure why. It felt like you knew what he was going to say and you didn't want to hear it – not right now, at least. All you thought about was Soonyoung, and it was beginning to frustrate you. "Maybe some other time? I need to find Soonyoung. It's urgent."

"S-sure..." was the last thing you had heard Gar say as you moved passed him and left the kitchen. Something about the way he looked at you, the way he smiled and his body language made you somewhat uneasy. A part of you felt bad for leaving him hanging, but a bigger part of you simply wanted to find Soonyoung; to hang-out with him, play with him and talk to him. But you were thankful that Gar hadn't come after you or stopped you from leaving.

You looked to the left where the chairs lined up the walls—where Soonyoung had been sitting earlier—and saw him again, his head still hanging low as he concentrated on his phone. A grin automatically plastered itself on your face as you approached him swiftly.

"Soonyoung," you sang. He looked up at you and said hello with a brief smile, before looking at his phone again. "Where did you go?"

"Huh?"

"One minute you were here and the next, you disappeared." You didn't know what to say and you didn't know how to keep a conversation going with him, not at that exact moment; your nerves had taken over and you were blushing and jumpy all over again.

"I went to the bathroom," he shook his head as he glanced up at you once more; appearing puzzled, but half smiling. "Is that not allowed?"

You laughed out of tenseness. "No, I was just wondering where you were, that's all."

"I'm here now," he sighed heavily, placing his phone on the chair to his left, rubbing his face.

"Tired?" you asked hesitantly, wondering why you were so incredibly anxious.

"Nah, just...some idiots at work that just don't know how to enjoy a weekend..." he sighed again, seeming wearier than when you first saw him.

You laughed, not really knowing why and not really meaning to, but you had, and he didn't exactly respond. So instead, you reached for his phone and opened up the camera.

Soonyoung looked up at you with furrowed brows and an expression that read, 'what in the world are you doing with MY phone?!' as he pointed to himself.

"Relax," you hummed. "I'm just taking pictures with it."

_Why aren't we talking? And why is it...so...awkward...?_ You questioned to yourself since you and Soonyoung would occasionally have deep conversations and yet, you had no idea if he even had a girlfriend – not that he ever mentioned one.

_As his friend, he would tell me if he did have one, right?_

You let the thought go as you—apparently—had to take photos of yourself, or of your surroundings, since you had picked up his phone and told him that that was what you were going to do.

You switched to the front camera and began taking a few selfies, rotating in place, avoiding Soonyoung's line of vision and removing him from yours, deleting one selfie after the other. You were about to give up and try again with him when you abruptly heard the sound of someone giggling from behind you. Slowly turning to your left, but not completely since you didn't want to entirely face Soonyoung, you could see the source of the giggle through your peripheral vision and the corner of your eye, but tried to keep your senses glued to the phone you were holding up in order not to make it seem very obvious.

The sight unsettled you. You wondered if your mind was playing tricks on you or you didn't adjust your eyes properly to what had happened. With a quick, short glimpse to the left, you confirmed what you had seen earlier, and it just made you feel a lot more nauseous that it did the first time.

_How long have they known each other?_ You thought to yourself; the image burning itself into your eyelids. _Have they gotten close enough that he would allow her to sit on his lap?_

Forcing your focus on his phone, you stared at them through the reflection of the front camera, still posing as you were faking a selfie-session.

Tat's arm was around Soonyoung's shoulders as she adjusted herself on his lap, and it wasn't hard to see that her other hand was in his.

_Are they dating? Is she his girlfriend? They're holding hands and she's sitting on his lap—what else...what else could it be?_

Tat was speaking to him; you heard her voice, she was right behind you, but you couldn't understand what she was saying. It was muffled and a blur to you.

Soonyoung, from what you could see, had a blank expression on his face as he focused forward.

_I...I can't be here._

You started to sweat as your heartbeat picked up its pace. You had felt broken all over as your eyes started to fill up with tears and the palms of your hands collected imprints of your nails as you clenched your fists tightly. Walking away slowly, you still had his phone in your hand and you were still playing the role of the girl taking selfies. You made sure to capture a few so that the sound of the shutter would go off and he wouldn't ask you for his phone, knowing that you were busy with it.

You couldn't face him in your state. Heck, you couldn't even think straight. There were so many emotions going through you that you just wanted to go home.

_Why am I even jealous? He's not my boyfriend. We're not dating. So...I really shouldn't be._

You had arrived at the closed door of the PC room, wanting to enter but not before you could calm down.

"Y/N!" Sol called out to you, seeing you take selfies. "Can I join in?"

"Sure," you strained a smile to your features as you briefly glanced at her low-cut shirt. "But this isn't my phone – it's Soonyoung's, so he might be seeing the photos if we take some."

"Ah," she sighed, pulling up her shirt. "Thanks for telling me."

You and Sol started to pose for the camera but you weren't feeling any better; you were still distracted by your heavy heartbeat. Every photo that you had taken, you deleted right away. You didn't want to look at yourself and you didn't like how every photo came out. Sol wasn't protesting, therefore you kept repeating your steps of taking photos and deleting them.

"I'm sorry, Sol," you sighed, feeling like you weighed a ton. "It's not coming out right. Maybe later we can try again."

She groaned, but agreed and went back to the living space where everyone else was sitting except for a few of the guests.

You stalked back to where Soonyoung sat and placed the phone back on the chair beside him, noticing that Tat was no longer with him. Still, you didn't look up entirely and you didn't say anything to him.

━☆☆━

Dim was lying down to your left as you two had shared the bed in the PC room. Since she was the only one who knew how you really felt about Soonyoung, it seemed as though she was the only person you could speak to about what had happened.

However, you weren't in the room alone with her; Seungcheol and Vernon were also present. Vernon was playing PlayStation, sitting at the foot of the bed and in front of the two of you, while Seungcheol sat to your right, on a chair, playing games on the PC.

"Why don't you ask _him_ if they're dating?" Dim suggested, pointing at Seungcheol with her mouth. "Isn't _he_ the closest to Soonyoung?"

"That would be too obvious," you wiped your eyes. "I don't want anyone to know. This kind of information might be heard by the wrong people and I don't even want to know what can happen from the result of that."

With a long exhale, you continued to speak. "I wish I had known. And I'm pretty sure that when I see him, I probably won't even ask about it – because, hey, it's not really my business. But, damn...it really hurt. I didn't expect to be this upset about it."

"Of course you would be;" Dim reassured. "Anyone would if they found out that their crush is with someone, especially if their crush is their friend and that friend doesn't even bother mentioning it."

"I shouldn't be though, right? He's not my boyfriend. I have no right to feel this way."

"You have the right to feel however you want to feel, Y/N. Why's a crush called a crush?" she snickered lightly.

No one had spoken after that. You turned to stare at the ceiling as tears slowly slid the sides of your face, the thoughts of Soonyoung not leaving you be.

It was as though the thought of him summoned him; he entered the room with a loud greeting and a loud sigh following it.

You quickly wiped your face as Soonyoung slammed himself into the empty space to your right.

"Y/N!" he said aloud. "Is it my turn to ask where you went?"

You couldn't help but smile. "I just came here to talk to Dim."

He looked at her and so did you, seeing that she was using her phone and pretending that the two of you did not exist beside her.

When you turned to look at him again, there was something about his features that made you feel like...

Like he did feel the same way about you, like he did, in fact, return your feelings.

However, you weren't sure, especially not after what you had seen between him and Tat.

"Chan finally left," he said with a soft smile, his stance relaxing into the bed as he rested his head on his arm. "He was begging to play around and once we did, things got a bit too rough."

Abruptly, Seungcheol stood up and departed the room, leaving his game on pause and his headphones on the chair.

"We were wrestling in the other room and I never knew how heavy he had gotten until today," Soonyoung continued, moving his hand around as he spoke.

You had caught glimpse of a few red scratches on it and immediately gasped as you took hold of it, looking closely at the grazes. "What happened to you?"

"He started to scratch me," Soonyoung exclaimed with a wide grin, laughing in disbelief as he told the story. "It was a normal wrestling match, but then he started to tickle me and so I tickled back and he just started to scratch me – like a freaking cat!"

He gave you more details to the story but your mind focused on how you were holding hands. Of course, you were worried about the scratches along his fingers and back of his hand, but you couldn't stop thinking of how you've always wanted to hold his hand – and now, you are.

You made your hand go limp in his grasp, expecting him to remove his hand from your hold. But instead, he started to play with your fingers.

At that moment, you didn't know whether or not he was still talking about the cat-fight between him and Chan. All your senses were completely focused on the feeling of his fingers playing with yours and your hand in his.

It felt right.

You held on to his hand tighter before letting go and looking at him. He smiled, but at the same time, furrowed his brows.

"Dim," you said quietly, turning to look at her over your shoulder. She looked at you and nodded. "Can you...give us a moment?"

You didn't have to explain further; she had already gotten up, whispered something to Vernon, and took him out of the room with her.

Looking at Soonyoung, your heart began to pick up its pace. He pushed his hair back and you did the same, placing your head back where it was lying. "Soonyoung," you started, clearing your throat right after, even though you didn't have to. "I need to tell you something."

"Okay. I'm listening."

"I...I really like you, Soonyoung. I have...feelings for you. Like...I like you. A lot. I think I've had a crush on you for a very long time...I don't remember when I started to like you, but I know that it had been...a while since it had started. And it was only building up since then." You stopped for a second, taking a deep breath and low-key hoping he would stop you from continuing. "Wh...what do you think? I like you. What do you think?"

Soonyoung's face was blank; his eyes widened slightly before his expression twisted into something along the lines of perplexity and amusement.

Your heart was beating extremely fast and heavy; you couldn't believe what you had just said. You couldn't believe that you had just confessed.

He grinned and as he was about to say something, your heart started beating faster and faster, that...that...

You woke up to the sound of your phone ringing.

It was Roe.

"Hey Y/N,"

You greeted her back.

"Are you coming to Cheol's tonight?"


End file.
